Here we go....part 2

I have stewed and stewed about how to continue the story. I've actually put this off for as long as I can. I have to pick up the kids here soon so I need to get busy and tell you the next part! ;)

Please know that my point in telling my story is NOT to tear anyone down within my church or even tear down the church itself. My point is simply showing how God sometimes works. And, it's not all clean and pretty and easy. Ok, here we go......

I believe we left off yesterday with things going south in late July and my world had just been devastated. That is completely true. I'm going to stay away from some specifics because in the big scheme of it all......it really doesn't matter. God will do whatever He wants to do and however He wants to do it.

So, where were we??

During the summer months, something big was happening within children's ministry that was about to either be really good or really bad. I had a tough decision to make and I took the hard road and went with what I truly believed to be the direction that God was telling me to go. I had prayed like mad and sought advice and wisdom from others around me as well.

That decision did not go over well with some church members. The decision prompted some discussions and ideas to take place and during that process I was asked to leave my current position at the church and develop a new ministry. That doesn't sad so bad right?

This is where I'm going to leave out the bulk of the story because it honestly doesn't effect how God was already orchestrating this all anyway.

You see, let me back up a year and a half and let you know that I had been through a really tough year in ministry. I felt completely alone in so many ways and was borderline frustrated with some things going on and really began to wonder if this is where God would have me.

Again...I'm going to leave out some details here. Please forgive me.

I prayed for a solid 18 months about what to do. I knew that if I were to leave it would not be without God going ahead of me. However, at this point, in my heart of hearts, I never imagined I would have to make a choice in all this questioning. I believed God was going to teach me something else. I never thought anything other than "stick it out, Fran."

So, we come back to the summer of '09. I never imagined that God would speak in such a way that would be so devastatingly ugly. Sometimes God won't speak so sweetly into our hearts that gives us the "go or stay" answer that we are looking for. Sometimes the writing is on the wall after something so hurtful that we can clearly hear Him saying......."it's time for you to go Fran."

Huh?

What?

This is NOT how I thought He would tell me the answer to the million dollar question that I had been seeking for a very long time.

I had been hurt deeply to my core and I tried to move past it and keep "doing the thing," but with each day and each week that went by, I knew in my heart......"it's time to go Fran."

And, then came the intense grieving process that felt like death. It felt like life would not go on.
It felt as if everything I had cared about within children's ministry and the church was finished.

One day your passion is alive and the next day it's gone.

It was time to let my leaders know what my next step would be. Would I be willing to get past the hurt or would I walk away from the most meaningful time in my life and let it all go? Did I hear God correctly? Maybe I misunderstood. After all, there is no perfect church or perfect ministry. We are all broken, messed up people for cryin' out loud. I needed more time.

Some serious second guessing began to take place.

I was scared to death. For the sake of my own children and my own family....I got really scared. Maybe God isn't telling me to go now at all. You see....my income was a huge contribution to our family that I couldn't just walk away from.

"Please don't leave me now Lord. You can't leave me here in this place."

*the story continues tomorrow*

The whole truth and nothin' but the truth.....

I have been on a bit of a bloggy break and I'll share with you most of the story starting today....

My last post was October 6th and I just titled it "Life=Hard." I think every single one of us understand those two small, but powerful words. I have been in a season of life truly being so very hard. It flat out stinks and I never saw it coming.

Let me explain a part of my story that began back in late July......

I had been working at our church for the last 5 years as Director of Children's Ministry. This has been our home church for the last 9 years when we moved here in 2000. It's all I've ever known in our town. This church was my family, my life, my breath, my thoughts, my passions, my hopes, my dreams, my frustrations, my future, my growth......my people. This is where I truly began to blossom in my growth as a Christian. These were the 1st steps that I took after really coming to know Him in Memphis at this Mom's group.

I took the job over children's ministry when my youngest son was just 3. He is now almost 9. Blows me away at the time that has gone by. I was asked to step in as the director because we had been through some rough spots in that position and my name was suggested. I had no idea what I was doing. The only thing I did know was my heart cared so deeply for the kids and their families at our church. I agreed to take the position. This was the fall of 2004.

God took me on a ride that would be absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt, the most amazing ride over these next 5 years. Not only did I care so much about children's ministry, I cared about the whole church. I almost cared too much. If that is a crime....call me guilty. I would spend countless hours, days, and weeks thinking, planning, meeting, organizing, and living life for Christ and the future of this church.

I began to facilitate some bible studies. I began to strategize with other leaders about the future of the church. I could honestly see endless possibilities about the future and where we could possibly go. I wonder how many hours I spent in meetings?! HA!

My position was flexible in hours and that allowed me much freedom to keep my family and boys first. I truly appreciated that luxury and freedom.

The joy came crashing down around me this past summer and I had no idea what was about to happen to my life, my family, and my future within the church....

Everything changed. And it has been absolutely devastating. I wonder will I ever be the same? Will that passion ever return? Will I ever trust and believe again?

*to be continued tomorrow*

Life=hard

Hey friends....
I just want you to know that I have not updated the ole blog because life has hit and I need to deal with it. Obviously life is happening for all of us, but this has been a season of intense wilderness and causing me to lean on God like never before. That's not such a bad thing. ;)

So, when you walk in the wilderness, it's hard to write and be fun and funny and share.

That is why I'm taking a break.

I can't wait to come back and share with you how awesome this whole thing WILL turn out.

God is good. He is faithful. He is in control of every last thing going on. My dependence on Him has never been greater and even though this season is incredibly hard, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Love you all!

Looking back!

Look at my sweet family nearly 9 years ago!!! Hubs hasn't CHANGED ONE STINKIN' BIT (not fair) and my excuse is I just had a baby and I thought my big hair would camouflage my big, post-baby face. ;)

The boys have grown so very much. They were 4 and 3 when boy #3 entered the world. Now, they are 13 and almost 12. WOW!

Time marches on and I feel like it's flying by and I'm wanting to completely freeze time and I can't.

Have a good day with whoever you happen to be married to, mothering to, or doing life with.
Cherish them.

Love y'all!

Watch out MLB and NFL....here come two of 'em!!!

Here would be stud carrying the ball!

They knock him down on "the close yard line."

Dad and son working some strategy on the field!

Here comes my 8yr old MLB stud. Here is his pitching debut and let me tell you he struck out 7 batters! OH YES HE DID!!! We have moved up from coach pitch to kid pitch.

He is on 3rd ready to go!!!! Baby going home! :)

But before he got to 3rd he had to start on 1st!

Look at his form now!!!! S-T-R-I-K-E!

But, after we got done with all that ball, we must throw around a football!

These are two of the three boys. I can't capture the oldest playing football because, ya know, he's in middle school now and mom out on the field with a camera ain't so cool. I'll capture some pix of him just being cute and cool around the house. :)

This is where we are in life now. Hope all is well in your world.

Hugs and blessings~

Call me crazy!

Well, go ahead...

Call me crazy!

I did it. I finally did what I've always wanted to do. What might you ask would that be??? Well,
I was with some precious dear friends over the weekend and we decided it was time to do it!

I got a tattoo!

OH YES I DID!!!

And, for the record....there was only clear minded thinking involved. This wasn't a 2am run to the tattoo joint and a decision that I regretted the next morning.

Nope. I love this tattoo more and more each day.

Now, before you go and make judgements about this decision and all.....just know that this very cool tattoo is a symbol of my love for someone else. Yes, you read that right. Every time I see this tattoo I'm reminded of a deep, real love. Then I'm reminded of my love for someone else....my husband, Chip.

It's not backwards or mixed up.

This tattoo is right under my wedding ring. I think you'll understand my priorities once you take a peak at the picture below.

I'm beyond thrilled.

Have a great day!! Praying that Christ is first in all that you do doing your day!

Hugs and blessings~

I'm calling it "thank God for your friends day"

I'm entering a new season of life right now and over the last couple of weeks some precious people have been there for me and I'd like to personally thank them right here in pictures!

Sound fun?

Sure. So, let's gooooooooooo!!!!

This is me and Teri. Oh, how I love this girl. She's one of my northern friends! What a gift she and Becky Jo are to me. One day I'll get a picture of me and Becky Jo.

Holla!!! This is another BFF. Love you Robyn. I wish we lived next door to each other.

Nikki....you are the real fabulous deal! The girl is one heckuva encourager!!

Sweet, sweet Kim. What a gift and blessing you are to me. Simply thank God for you!

Oh Mary!!!! I cannot wait to spend time with you. Your wisdom and heart are simply contagious!


Jenny and I are sisters separated at birth. Love her and her family.

This picture makes me wanna cry. Nancy, who is in the middle, is having her 2nd son as I write this! And, Carolyn, well you know how I feel about you.

I love ya Lesley. You are always here for me. ((hugs))

These girls just hold a dear, dear place in my heart. Always grateful for them...no matter what the season is. Love you Patty, Steph, and G.

Abby, Abby, Abby....how I wished I lived in Nashville with you. Me, you and Nikki would be definite BFF's. Now, we have to do the distance thing and I'm ok with that. You both are worth it. ;)

There are so many others that I want to shout out to but I can't find a picture on my computer of them.....

Angie, Connie, Dedra, Tonya, Susan, Teresa, Jan, Jerri Sue, Carol....who am I forgetting??

You know how you have been there for me the last few weeks and I thank God for you today.

Take time to let your friends know how much you love 'em! Life is fragile and short.

Hugs and blessings!!