Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Not so good, Mom!



Why did I get so frustrated with this precious boy??? The one who really is the sweetest, wants the world to be happy, tries his absolute best at all things???!!!

Because momma just flat lost it last night. And, the sad thing is....I ALWAYS take it out on him.
The one I shouldn't take it out on....I do. Why is that?

Oh bless his sweet, tender, forgiving heart.

I'm convicted. I told the Lord today..."This is it. No more of this junk with him. We are done with it TODAY, Lord. TODAY!"

Its been a struggle our entire school life together...me and him. I should have the most patience with him, but I clearly do not.

I have turned over a new leaf today. Totally surrendering it to God. Again and again until it's completely g-o-n-e.

He's starting middle school and we are both lost as goons. I'm the grownup. I'm the grownup.

I love you Clay. I love you dearly and my heart is broken.

Ephesians 4:32 "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

Hugs and blessings~

17 comments:

beckyjomama said...

Praying it for you - WITH you!

XOXOXOXOXOX
Becky Jo

Momofsix said...

Fran-
How old is your eldest?
Boy can I remember those days- the days when I felt a battle constantly going on with me and my eldest boy. The biggest part was I did not have his heart. His friends did. It was always a battle when we returned to school. I always looked forward to the summers. It was my time to bond with the children, time to have fun, and get to know them. Whenever we started school, we started the same old thing, bad attitudes, fights, and yelling. WHY? When I substituted for a year in the school system is when I realized why. It was on going fight in school, so when they got home they were already geered up ready to go. It was me that was never ready nor did I anticipate it! IT always seemed to blindside me- I never expected it, but when they attitude came I was always ready to fight right along with them!

Praise the Lord I have seen the ends of those days and I know I truly have the heart of my children.

May the LOrd Grant you wisdom!

Your Siesta
Angie

His Girl said...

oh, why do you get so frustrated? for the same reason we all do...

that scripture? i'm convinced it's the only way to survive the heartbreak and exhilaration of raising a godly boy :)

Michelle V said...

Dear, sweet Fran, I struggle with this as well! Thank you for sharing this with us! You truly inspire me!

Blessings
Michelle

Denise said...

Bless your heart, sending up extra prayers for you my friend. I love you.

Patty said...

{{{{Fran}}}}

This too shall pass!!! Hang in there and Clay will find his way because God goes before him, even in Middle school. :)

Love,
Patty

MelanieJoy said...

Hang in there...prayers heading your way! My sister does the same thing with my nephew. It's good you recognize it's happenin'
Love and Hugs...

annie's eyes said...

You are so transparent and honest and it makes me want to give you a hug. I think he's your oldest, and, as I told my son, he was my lab rat, and I learned a lot of stuff on him. He also got more of my worry, my still trying to be perfect. Hang in there and give him lots of hugs and love. He knows how much you love him, too. Love, Annette

Teresa said...

Oh Fran! ((((((FRAN))))))
thank you for sharing your tender heart

praying for you and with you,
Teresa

BethAnne said...

Must be the curse of being the oldest - I find myself being harder on Lake than I do Kaden....sometimes, just because he is older and I expect so much from him........I will pray for you about this if you will pray for me ;-) (just kidding I will pray for you either way )

Profbaugh said...

Fran,

Been there. Done that. So, I can relate, my friend. Know that I'm praying for you.

Much love,
~Cheryl

Holly said...

"I'm the grown up. I'm the grown up." OH, how I needed this on Monday with all the cookbook stuff and going to Wal-mart with all.four.kids. I needed to say this over and over.

I love how God's grace covers all our sins and makes each day new with mercy. Amen?

Susan said...

Praying for you this morning. I, too, always seemed to lose it with the oldest. I expected more, maybe? The others would walk (run?) but he would stay behind. Now he's heading to college. In. A. Week.

I guess I'm going to have to get more creative about unloading on him.

Just kidding!

Love you Fran, and so does your sweet boy.

ocean mommy said...

Oh girl I'm praying! Middle School...give me chills. :)

love you and love your honesty...

steph.

Darlene R. said...

I, too, have a middle schooler this year! Ahhhh!

Anyway, I'm in the thick of it with you. We'll just keep each other prayed up! ;)

Love,
Darlene

A Stone Gatherer said...

Here's a ((hug))! Keep your chin up your a GREAT mom!!!

Linda said...

Ok Fran I came back today and was reading this post for the first time and I am now crying..This is the exact same thing that happens between me and my oldest. Always about school. Oh how I love him and the conviction is so strong but I of course let the guilt stay way longer than it is welcomed. I will pray for you as I pray for myself in this area.
Blessings my friend.. We only have them for a short while. (more tears I need to get a kleenex)
Linda

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