Monday, March 29, 2010

Ok, so I'm learning.......

We have been visiting a Baptist church for the last several weeks. And, apparently, things are done just a smidget different when it comes to Communion/Lords Supper. ;)

Here's what homegirl did Sunday. I'm so cool.

I leaned over to my Baptist BFF and asked her...."So, anything different with Baptist Communion?" She basically said, "no, you are good." Ok......I should be fine. I know I have taken Communion 17 million times right?

Wrong.

Homegirl hasn't taken Communion/Lord's Supper in a Baptist church. And, apparently it is just a smidget different.

They blessed the elements and said a beautiful prayer and then they passed a bowl/tray/thing of the tiny square crackers. Ok, no big deal. I was so proud to take that bowl/tray/thing and grab my cracker bread piece and put it in my mouth.

Did you catch that? I PUT IT IN MY MOUTH BEFORE I HAD IT PASSED TO THE PRECIOUS CHILD BESIDE ME!!!!!

I quickly noticed that others have not eaten their cracker bread piece yet.

Just me.

I ate it too soon didn't I?

Yes, I did.

I prayed and prayed for forgiveness and asked the good Lord to remove that memory out of any one's eyes that might have seen it. I was borderline embarrassed and borderline wanted to laugh hysterically.

I am on the 4th row, ya know. I know some pastor or deacon had to have seen me.

Sigh.

Well, by the time the pastor asks us to eat our bread cracker piece together mine was already being digested. However, because I'm cool and all.......I just put two fingers up to my mouth and acted like I had that tiny bread cracker piece in my little hands and ate that imaginary piece all over again. I even fake chewed!!!

I FAKE CHEWED!!!!

I so wanted to bust out and I really wish I had Robyn beside me to laugh hysterically without getting caught. Its moments like those it's easy to be 12.

Anyhoo.....I was a pro by the time they sent the grape juice down the aisle. I clearly waited my instructions and drank with all the other folks.

I then prayed for God's forgiveness for breaking the rules and getting tickled and probably not having the right heart for Communion/Lord's Supper.

I will always think of that Palm Sunday where I learned how to do things the Baptist way. :)

Ok....any funny stories out there happening in your church? Come on now...I'm not alone am I?

Hugs and blessings~
Fran

19 comments:

Kristie said...

Bhahahaha!!!! Fran I love it & I can so relate.

Kristie Tims

3girlsmom said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, man. I shoulda warned you to WAIT. The "fake chewed" absolutely cracked me up. I SO wish I had been sitting beside you b/c I woulda knocked that cracker outta your hand to spare you the embarrassment of eating first.

This story rocks. I can't wait till I can hear you tell it in person.

I adore you.

connorcolesmom said...

That is the FUNNIEST story!!!
You make me laugh - the fake cracker and fake chew made me loose it!
Can't wait to see you in a few weeks!
Much love

Valerie said...

LOL hahahahaha I love it!!

Sara said...

Somehow I thought this might be a part of your story. Ok, my funny. I was serving communion as a 14 year old. Everyone came down front. Intinction had been instructed. This 900 year old man came and took a piece of bread from me--tore it himself (this is ok). I said "This is the body of Christ, broken for you." So, he's supposed to proceed to the cup to dip it and instead puts the bread in his mouth. When he realized what he did (and had no way to fake it like SOME people....tehehehe), he removed the half-chewed bread from his mouth and dipped it in the cup. Me and the adult server next to me had to hold our breaths not to laugh.

Fran, God's cool. It's done in remembrance of the only perfect one there ever was to, in part, remind you how imperfect YOU are. It's totally ok.

Someday I'll tell you about the guy whole knelt to drink out of the cup and oh Lordy, let's just say I made a mess.

I'll write a book someday......you'll be in it. LOL

Shelley said...

Oh my mercy Fran! First let me say thank you for the laugh. I really, REALLY needed it tonight!

I grew up Baptist, and so I know all the "rules". I love Baptist jokes, because ususally they are very true! Still, I loved the Church I grew up in, and still think it is a wonderful place. I hope and pray you find your church home, even if there are some funny "oops!" moments along the way! :)

Teri~Facedown said...

Haha! We had the exact opposite thing happen in the church we are visiting! Our former church always held the bread and juice and took it together as directed by the pastor, but in this church you just take it whenever. So the first time we were there my whole family was still holding their communion when the pastor was moving on to announcements! HAHA! We had to quickly but inconspicuously pop them in our mouths! Too funny!

I'm not so sure how great of a Baptist you'll be...but you're a beautiful believer in the Lord Jesus!

<3

Darlene R. said...

OH MY WORD!! That totally cracked me up! I was reading it out loud to my hubby and I couldn't even get it all out because I was laughing so hard. Girl, you don't even KNOW how bad I needed that good belly laugh today! I traded tears of hurt for tears of laughter and joy! Thank you.
I am a Baptist, so I could picture this whole thing happening. I will think of you the next time I see the communion table set.
Love ya,
Darlene

Dori said...

OH MY GOSH! That is hilarious!!!!! I love it!!

A few years ago I was in the choir on a Sunday morning at the large Baptist church we used to go to. Our choir was awesome and worshipful and I had gotten my praise on that morning.

Only I had sat in the chair next to "the gap." In other words, our choir had rows, but we also were sectioned off and had gaps -- there was a left section, a middle and a right section. I was sitting in the middle section next to the gap.

Welllll.....during our awesome worship and all the swayin' and praisin' I had shifted a bit in where I was standing.

The next thing I knew our Pastor was praying, our Worship Pastor seated the choir during the prayer. The Pastor said, "And God, as we bow down...."

Then it happened.

I went to sit down and my chair was not there...but the gap was!

I hit the floor with a thud.

I bowed down alright!

My sweet husband was sitting where he couldn't see me, but he heard the THUD. He said he just prayed, "Dear God, please don't let that be my wife!"

Our church videoed the services and I worked for the church at the time. The next morning the staff gathered in our pastor's office and watched it over and over and over and over again!!! I have never laughed so hard at myself in all my life!!!

I wish I still had that tape...maybe. :(

Love,
Dori

Lindsee Lou said...

Yup! Something I SO would have done. And then probably would have not avoided the laughter. But I'm a sinner like that! I love that you fake chewed! I'm SURE you're not the only one that's done this. Hilarious!

Mary R Snyder said...

Oh Fran if only I could've been sitting behind you because I'd laughed out loud with you! Girl, you just slay me and you know that whole wine thing .... well, we Baptists will assure you that Jesus served grape juice at the last supper.

Leah @ Point Ministries said...

Fran,

Don't you think for a minute that God was furrowing His Holy brow at you. We, Baptists, can really be too stuffy about things like this, but not God. I imagine He just smiled at you and thought, "Oh, how she loves Me." Then, He laughed right along with you.

Leah

Tammy said...

Ok, first.....Bwah ha ha ha, because I am 12 too.

We had an elderly time change failure a few weeks ago. Our pastor was finishing up his sermon, when I (and probably the rest of the church) noticed the door open DOWN front and an elderly lady appeared.

I *gasped* to myself and looked at my hubby. The look on the poor woman's face almost cracked me up, because I am 12.

It took her about 3 minutes to walk in, get her bulletin, get her cane off her purse and walk to the pew. As soon as she sat down our pastor said, "please stand with me and pray".

Sad, funny and true!

A Stone Gatherer said...

Oh now that's funny!!!!

Wired Whimsy said...

Too funny! Well, I'm a Baptist, so if you have any questions concerning protocol... :-)

Sheryl said...

I'm Baptist. I love the way we do Communion. But, when Jesus said "Do this in remembrance of ME" I'll bet they did it differently than Baptists too.

Since it gave us all a chuckle, bet God was chuckling too.

Sheryl

ocean mommy said...

FAKE CHEW! This totally cracks me up!

We have pre-packaged things now...the cracker is on top of the juice. There is a peel back wrapper in between the cracker and the juice and one on top of the cracker. Have I lost you?

Last Sunday night as we peeled back the first layer to take the bread...I got tickled because we were in this holy moment...then RIIIIIIPPPPPPPP. It just sounded like rain or something all that plastic being ripped off. I thought I was going to wet my pants right there on the stage trying NOT to laugh out loud. :)

Girl, I love you and can't wait to laugh or hind ends off in just a few days!!! So fun. :)

steph.

Linda said...

Love it!!!!

Carolyn said...

Oh, my, that is hilarious! I'm so sorry... it's so hard to be embarrassed and especially in a place where you are already new and feeling a bit self conscious perhaps.
I was in Memphis for Spring Break, Palm Sunday and Easter! In our church at home (Chicagoland), we always sing the Hallelujah chorus at Easter, and we all stand and the whole congregation can sing with the choir. Well, I learned the Hallelujah Chorus in highschool (yes, ECS), and have always LOVED to sing along! So now here we are back in Memphis at my home church, and they start the Hallelujah Chorus. Of course, I'm delighted that we get to sing along! The only problem is that I didn't notice that only portions of it was the congregation supposed to sing. So, I am belting it out with the choir when I suddenly look around and realize I am the only one still in the congregation singing as our portion had ended and everyone else had stopped -- took me a while to notice because I was singing so LOUDLY the alto part I know SO WELL! Ugh, I think I turned a thousand shades of reds, but continued to mouth the words as though I intended to be doing what I was doing.... mercy, me, I understand!
Hope your family is doing well!

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