It's so much more than a pinky promise with my man!! But, I love this picture and we are in this marriage thing together! And, I want you to know from the bottom of my heart that I love the fire out of him and have been a terrible wife at times, but I have gone before God to seek His wholeness and restoration for myself so I can be the woman of God He desires.
Let me tell you that I have a messed up past. I spent many years of my teenage life in some destructive patterns and choices. I made horrible decisions that have flooded into many parts of my adult heart and mind. And, you can only push them under the rug and not deal with them for so long.
Through a perfectly, God ordained time as this, and the beauty of Beth Moore's Bible study, "Wising Up," I have cried out to God to heal parts of my heart and restore me, in His time, to be the woman of God He desires for my life. Once this can begin to happen....I truly believe I can be that woman for my man that I need to be. And, my man deserves to have.
I'm going to be so honest right now with you and tell you that I have been, more than anything else, VERY SELFISH! Selfish can have 100 different meanings and looks. And, girls, it is not healthy, pretty, it's fake, ugly, mean, and not the way God designed marriage to be. It's time for me to change. One prayer at a time.
This is going to be tough. I have to pray for God to literally re-wire my mind and belief system for some things that haunt me from my past. I have to believe and trust God to do His beautiful thing of bringing the dead back to life. I have to believe that Jesus can save this poor girls rotten beliefs from taking any more life away from her!! I need to believe that He WILL heal and restore!
Don't get me wrong....our marriage is not in trouble. It's all me. I think I need to do "Breaking Free" again and get it right. I'm not completely free.
I want Jesus, more than anything, to have favor on our home, my family and our lives.
But, I need to get a few things right before Him in order for this to happen.
I'm praying for all of us and our homes right now. These relationships are everything to Him and His Name is at stake as to how we live this thing out among others. I praise His Holy Name for loving me and being so patient with me. He knew I'd come around......eventually!
We are meant to be free....free indeed! Blessings and His favor is my prayer over you and your homes.