Monday, October 26, 2009

The whole truth and nothin' but the truth.....

I have been on a bit of a bloggy break and I'll share with you most of the story starting today....

My last post was October 6th and I just titled it "Life=Hard." I think every single one of us understand those two small, but powerful words. I have been in a season of life truly being so very hard. It flat out stinks and I never saw it coming.

Let me explain a part of my story that began back in late July......

I had been working at our church for the last 5 years as Director of Children's Ministry. This has been our home church for the last 9 years when we moved here in 2000. It's all I've ever known in our town. This church was my family, my life, my breath, my thoughts, my passions, my hopes, my dreams, my frustrations, my future, my growth......my people. This is where I truly began to blossom in my growth as a Christian. These were the 1st steps that I took after really coming to know Him in Memphis at this Mom's group.

I took the job over children's ministry when my youngest son was just 3. He is now almost 9. Blows me away at the time that has gone by. I was asked to step in as the director because we had been through some rough spots in that position and my name was suggested. I had no idea what I was doing. The only thing I did know was my heart cared so deeply for the kids and their families at our church. I agreed to take the position. This was the fall of 2004.

God took me on a ride that would be absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt, the most amazing ride over these next 5 years. Not only did I care so much about children's ministry, I cared about the whole church. I almost cared too much. If that is a crime....call me guilty. I would spend countless hours, days, and weeks thinking, planning, meeting, organizing, and living life for Christ and the future of this church.

I began to facilitate some bible studies. I began to strategize with other leaders about the future of the church. I could honestly see endless possibilities about the future and where we could possibly go. I wonder how many hours I spent in meetings?! HA!

My position was flexible in hours and that allowed me much freedom to keep my family and boys first. I truly appreciated that luxury and freedom.

The joy came crashing down around me this past summer and I had no idea what was about to happen to my life, my family, and my future within the church....

Everything changed. And it has been absolutely devastating. I wonder will I ever be the same? Will that passion ever return? Will I ever trust and believe again?

*to be continued tomorrow*

24 comments:

beckyjomama said...

It breaks my heart that you hurt in this way ... but I am so proud of you for putting it out there.

LOVE you!!

Sara said...

Good for posting this! Anxious to see what you post next! Proud of you!

Dedra said...

Praying as you share only a tiny portion of your testimony! The joy of the LORD is our strength and you and I both know that HE and ONLY HE is faithful. I love you so much girl!

Inksstillwet said...

I pray that God can restore your hope and faith in not only Himself, but His people. It is so hard living this earthly life in these fleshly bodies! I know that trust doesn’t come too easy for any of us, and especially when we’ve been hurt so badly. He is the great Author of our story and this is just a chapter (maybe even a page) in the book He’s written in your life.

Shelly said...

I wish Memphis and Nashville were closer.

The end :)

Well, not really, b/c I'm looking forward to hearing more of this story.

Your standing in faith and believing to receiving sister :)

Susan said...

Yes, everything changed. Often, change happens because He needs us to change. I CLING TO THAT. Yes, you will trust and believe again...because You belong to Him and He is Faithful and True.

And, because I've been there-done that. And lived to tell about the "will I ever again..." stuff :)

Love you girl. Can't wait to hug you!

Susan

Shelley said...

I just want to jump through this computer and hug you. I'm sorry you've been hurt. Thank you for sharing your heart!

Lisa writes... said...

We found ourselves on the splitting end of a church split last summer--truly the hardest and most heartbreaking thing I've ever been through. Yet, here as we look forward to our one year anniversary of chartering together, I can say truly He is able to do more than we can ask or imagine! I longed to be a part of something that only God could do--and I had no idea that THIS is how He would answer that cry of my heart--but despite the grief and heartbreak I am SO VERY GRATEFUL for it. Keep seeking Him, sister; He is faithful!

And, only if you're interested, but here's part of my testimony of the Lord's goodness to us: http://lisa-writes.blogspot.com/2009/01/in-ways-previously-unimagined.html

Michelle V said...

Praying for you, sweet Fran!

Love & Blessings
Michelle

Paige said...

I was there last year as I had to leave my position of Director of Student Ministries at our church and thus, leave the church. One of the toughest things I've ever done. Praying for you and will be tuning in for the rest of this testimony. God has His precious hand on you! The story is not done yet!

mer@lifeat7000feet said...

Oh Fran. As someone who has walked away from ministry deeply wounded, my heart goes out to you. It's been five years and I'm JUST NOW beginning to feel love for the church again. I hope and pray that your story will have the same ending as mine--restoration. I can say without a doubt that God is good. His path and purpose is confusing at times but He brings beauty from the ashes. Hang in there, friend.

Can't wait to hear the rest of your story...

Teri~Facedown said...

Still praying for you.

His Girl said...

listening.

Toknowhim said...

I will be waiting to hear the rest of the story sweet Fran

NikkiPoppins said...

Praying still...waiting for the next bit of the story...and for the awesome finish that I know God has planned out for you dearie! Can't wait to see what it is!
Love you lots!
Nikki

connorcolesmom said...

Girl I feel your pain I am right where you are :)
Praying for you!!!
Much love
Kim

Jen said...

I don't know what happens next and I am halfway eager with anticipation and halfway dreading what I know is going to be so very sad.... I'm glad you're back, but i'm sorry you've been hurt.

love you fran

ocean mommy said...

Girl.

I get it.

Wish we were closer.

I know that God will restore that passion. Been there myself.

Looking forward to your next post!

Hugs
steph.

Anonymous said...

You are often in my thoughts!

My best to you.....TeresaL

Cheryl said...

Right there with you!

Can't wait to see what God has in store.

Love you!

Lindsee said...

Fran, my heart hurts for you that you are hurt, but I know the Lord has a plan in all this. As much as I am eager to hear the next part, I'm not sure I want to hear the next part! Wish we could just sit down and chat. Ministry is hard. Weird. Tough. And sometimes it just flat hurts. Like you said, life is hard.

Love you, lady!

Lindsee

Mary Lou said...

Praying for you. Waiting to hear the rest with baited breath. Keep your eyes on Him, as I'm sure you've been doing and OFF of man. We ALL have big feet of clay. Blessings...Mary Lou

HIS Child said...

Love you Fran, and more importantly HE Loves You.

Patty said...

I am so sorry for your hurt and deep pain in this season of life. I have been where you are and it just plain hurts. It takes time to heal but God will bind up your wounds and He will heal your broken heart and restore your passion and just rest in God right now.

Love you,
Patty

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