The whole truth and nothin' but the truth.....

I have been on a bit of a bloggy break and I'll share with you most of the story starting today....

My last post was October 6th and I just titled it "Life=Hard." I think every single one of us understand those two small, but powerful words. I have been in a season of life truly being so very hard. It flat out stinks and I never saw it coming.

Let me explain a part of my story that began back in late July......

I had been working at our church for the last 5 years as Director of Children's Ministry. This has been our home church for the last 9 years when we moved here in 2000. It's all I've ever known in our town. This church was my family, my life, my breath, my thoughts, my passions, my hopes, my dreams, my frustrations, my future, my growth......my people. This is where I truly began to blossom in my growth as a Christian. These were the 1st steps that I took after really coming to know Him in Memphis at this Mom's group.

I took the job over children's ministry when my youngest son was just 3. He is now almost 9. Blows me away at the time that has gone by. I was asked to step in as the director because we had been through some rough spots in that position and my name was suggested. I had no idea what I was doing. The only thing I did know was my heart cared so deeply for the kids and their families at our church. I agreed to take the position. This was the fall of 2004.

God took me on a ride that would be absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt, the most amazing ride over these next 5 years. Not only did I care so much about children's ministry, I cared about the whole church. I almost cared too much. If that is a crime....call me guilty. I would spend countless hours, days, and weeks thinking, planning, meeting, organizing, and living life for Christ and the future of this church.

I began to facilitate some bible studies. I began to strategize with other leaders about the future of the church. I could honestly see endless possibilities about the future and where we could possibly go. I wonder how many hours I spent in meetings?! HA!

My position was flexible in hours and that allowed me much freedom to keep my family and boys first. I truly appreciated that luxury and freedom.

The joy came crashing down around me this past summer and I had no idea what was about to happen to my life, my family, and my future within the church....

Everything changed. And it has been absolutely devastating. I wonder will I ever be the same? Will that passion ever return? Will I ever trust and believe again?

*to be continued tomorrow*