Thursday, February 21, 2008

Don't be snappy...

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I needed this last night.

Our children can teach us the most important lessons in life.

Last night at church, I was talking with some grown ups in the gym. At the same time, I was trying to gather up my 3 boys and for some reason, my nerves were a little unnerved. My sweet #3 son was shooting hoops not far from where I was standing and for NO REASON WHATSEVER, I yelled over at him....."STOP SHOOTING THAT BASKETBALL!!!!"

Why in the world did I do that?? Why did I have to scare the fire out of him?? Why did I have to come out of nowhere and scream at him?? Why did I not just ask politely.....

"Would you please shoot the ball on another goal away from the grownups?"

No....I did not. I yelled at him in a very ugly way.

We got home and he wouldn't even speak to me. After his bath, dad found him in the laundry room crying and talking to himself. I'm sure he wasn't saying anything nice about dear ole mom.

Dad got him on the couch in the den and they talked about what mean ole mom had done.

I am summoned to the den and his sweet, broken heart was plain as day. I scared him. I was out of line in my tone. I embarrassed him. I was wrong in every way.

My heart broke in two. I sincerely said I was sorry. I asked for forgiveness. He cried small tears for another minute or two and then was ok.

I was deeply convicted over the power my words had over him.

Our words and our tone are everything to people. May we speak love, life, and encouragement over everyone today. I pray that you will choose your words and tone most carefully with everyone you come in contact with. Especially in circumstances where you find yourself wanting
to snap, remember to take a chill pill!

James 3:5 from the Message says this...."It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that."

I don't want any forest fires breaking out in your world today.
Blessings~

18 comments:

Joanne said...

Fran,

So let me know where you get the best prices for your 'Chill pills'...I am right with you girl.

Stephanie (Ocean Mommy) said...

This is so true! Our tone is just as important if not MORE important than the words we speak! I know I'm so guilty of saying one thing but the body language and tone says something totatlly different.

thanks for encouraging me!

love you
steph.

connorcolesmom said...

Oh my I have totally done that before. I am doing the Discerning the Voice of God study and last week Priscilla asked what we had the most trouble with and she listed a few things. Well I found I have trouble with my mind and my mouth. I think something ugly like "Oh my word those kids are being obnoxious" and then before I know I have just said it!!!
It is hard being a mommy :)
YOu however sound like you have a wonderful husband and sons who forgive and help you.
What a blessing!!!!
Love ya sweet Fran!
Kim

annie's eyes said...

What a good reminder Fran yet so hard to practice. My daughter once said "I hear your words twice as loud in my head, Mom." I thought then I must remember. Great post and sweet words to think about.

Ann V.@HolyExperience said...

In your transparency, we see Jesus in you.

Thank you for shining Him.

This Mama needs chill pills: to tame the tail of the heart, that tongue.

Every blessing...
Ann

Teri said...

Been there girl. I hate it when I blow it so obviously. Thank the LORD for HIS loving kindness. Especially when it comes in the form of a child's tears. THey are so quick to forgive and it is such a life lesson when we blow it and have the mind to ask forgiveness of our kids. They learn from this. So even in the midst of it, there will be fruit.

Love ya Fran!

Hillary said...

Oh, that's a tough one! I don't have kids yet but I do have other people in my life that I sometimes speak ugly to for no reason! And there's nothing right about it!! No excuses!

Darlene R. said...

Man, how many times have I done that? Too many to count.
I know how it is.
The difference now though is that I will ask forgiveness when I do that. I used to think that it wasn't necessary because they are kids, but that is so not true.

Thanks for the reminder!

Love,
Darlene

Denise said...

Sweetie, there are times when we all need to take a chill pill. I love you.

Cheri said...

I had a serious insight about my words a couple of weeks ago. Your words can change anything in an instant. This is the scripture I taped up in numerous places in my house:

The tongue has the power of life and death,
and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21

It has helped me to see those all day everyday. Even the kids watch more of what they say.

Just know you are not alone. It hinders many of us!

Ang baylis said...

I would love to tell you I cannot relate to this story but I, too must admit that's been me. I'm glad he didn't just bottle it up inside and instead was free to share his feelings with you. I can tell you are a great mom and not afraid to admit you made a mistake. You are such an inspiration to all of us. I appreciate you being real about your life. I needed to hear this tonight! Much love, dear siesta!
Angie xoxo

BethAnne said...

Oh girl, I need one of those pills! I have done the same thing before (only different kid, not basketball - you know what I mean). This being a mom thing is hard sometimes, isnt it? I wish I could put myself in my kid's place and treat him like I want to be treated instead of flying off the handle when he doesnt do what I want him to. I am doing better at it than I used to, but still not going to get best mom of all time award in that area.

Mariel said...

priceless, priceless reminder!! Thank you for your honesty before us! I often discover too late when I have toss out and ungly word. Praise the Lord for forgiving children and humble apologies!

I am praying for the Lord to overflow my own heart with His love today...out of the overflow of the heart my mouth does speak!! (LUke 6:45)

blessings, mariel

Linda said...

Every honest mom will tell you she's done this. It's not good, but your general overall character and treatment of him is his main point of reference for you. The important thing is that you apologized. We don't have to be perfect, but we have to be loving and humble.

Alana said...

That is so true, Fran. It breaks my heart when I do that and see the countenance of my children fall.

I'm glad you husband was able to intercede and that you apologized and made things right. Down the road, he will never remember the offense, he'll only remember your sincere apology. I'm sure of that.

Shonda said...

Such humility in posting this. That is one of the things the Lord is cleaning out of me while I'm in the fire.

Blessings in Christ-

Charity said...

Bless your heart!

You are so right! I try to tell he Hubs this all the time...about the "tone". Sometimes misunderstandings occur because I hear a certain "tone" and take what is said one way and he didn't mean to have that "tone". Oh girl, this is something I think about a lot!

I am excited this week to start the bible study, "Conversation Peace" by Mary A. Kassian. We meet on Wednesday night to discuss our first week. The topic for the book is "The Power of Transformed Speech". I am sure I will be posting what the Lord lays on my heart with this study.

I hope you guys are having a super fun weekend!

Love,
Charity

Joanne (The Simple Wife) said...

I so know what you're talking about. Just yesterday I yelled at Emma from downstairs for yelling for me from upstairs.

I got in the shower as she sat dejected playing on the computer and then got out to say I was sorry. I told her that God got all over me for doing the VERY THING I'd fussed at her for. I asked her to forgive me, and we promised to come find each other when we wanted to talk. I gave her permission to fuss at me if I slip, and told her I'd fuss at her if she slipped.

We made the deal and shook on it. (And snuggled on it!)

Joanne

I blog so you can get a glimpse into my life as wife, mom of 3 boys, and someone who simply wants to bless others along the way. Have fun and be sweet :)

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