Monday, September 22, 2008

What do you want for your child?

Hi blogger friends!!

Did you have a great weekend?? I did. Well, I did up until about 2:00 Saturday afternoon. At that point, my stomach began doing flips and I was a nervous wreck for my #1 son.

You see, he was leaving for a little over night retreat with fellow 6th graders from church. Well, I should be thrilled and excited and everything else, but I wasn't. You want to know why I wasn't?

I was afraid for him. Um, yeah. Let me explain.

I am one of those worrier moms and really hate to see my kids get hurt in any kind of way. I think we are all that way aren't we?

I began to think 101 crazy thoughts like...

"What if he gets left out?"

"What if he hates it and wants to come home?"

"What if some boy is mean to him?" (I know, he's not 4)

"What if someone were to make fun of him?"

"What if......"

You get the idea don't you?? My kid is a lot like his dad. He is on the more reserved side. He is cautious. He is a rule follower. He wants to do EXACTLY what the adults say to do. He has a heart of gold. He wants the whole world to get along and can't understand why people don't. He might be the sweetest kid on earth. :)

But, while he was gone and I worried like a mad woman, I began to think.....

"What do I really want for any of my children?"

And...I don't mean for their future. I mean the here and the now and the future.

As I ran through different things that I want for my children....the one thing I kept going back to over and over and over was this, and it wasn't some thing....

3 John 1:4 "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth."

Can I say that this has always been my GREATEST desire for them?? Let me be honest and say no it hasn't always been the case. But, the closer I walk with Jesus.....nothing else matters to me....not popularity, not hurt feelings, not exclusion, not grades, not sports, not what he'll be when he grows up, not any of those things!!! They are important, but is that the most important?

I want this scripture for him now and for the rest of his life.

What (or where) are you putting an emphasis on for your kids?

Are we sending the message that we do want Christ in their life first and foremost or are we saving that for their adulthood?

Let me know what you think. Have a glorious day!

Seek Him with all you have.

Hugs and blessings....


BethAnne said...

I have that verse on my fridge. I am sooo with you on this. If my husband were reading this, he would testify that I obsess over how/what my son is doing at school - how he is fitting in. We have had some issues fitting in with the "popular" kids (I know he's only 7, but its still a problem) and I have decided that I could care less about him being popular --- being Godly is what I care about - God will do the rest for him and bring him Godly friends.
Just this morning, he was having his quiet time before school and he said, "You know what I do before I read about God? I just pray that I will be able to understand what I am reading" to a mommy's ears (and heart)!!!!

BTW, your boys are so handsome - in about 3 or 4 years you will have to fight to keep the girls away from them.........

Michelle V said...


I have done that same thing when my boys have gone on church retreats! I have to force myself to turn that worrying into prayer and release it to God or else I'll worry myself to death! Thank you SO much for sharing that scripture! I love that! Like you, I don't think that would have always been my prayer for my boys, but it certainly is now! It's what I want for them more than anything!

Have a great day!!


Jen said...

Good morning, my dear friend Fran. I loved this post. I hope I love my kids like you love yours.

Also, the way you've described your son... respectful of adults, rule follower, etc... that is my husband to a TEE as a child. Even when I met him in college, I was surprised at how "straight laced" he was. And he is an AWESOME man of God and a WONDERFUL husband. You've raised quite the young man and a young woman will be so blessed to call him her own someday!

love you!

Bev Brandon said...

What passion rules my own heart more than the love of my beautiful Christ? And what passion rules my children's hearts more than Love? I'm so with you...we want Truth to sink deep in their hearts and ours, Psalm 51:6. The kind of life that changes its own mind and heart out of such surrender and gratitude to our Most High God.
You're a beautiful mom!

connorcolesmom said...

Oh you sound so much like me - my son was the only 8 YO not going to camp this yr why b/c the camp required a 2 WEEK stay minimum - UH NO WAY!!
My connor also sounds so much like your oldest. I think when they are so sensitive like that you just want to protect them more :)
I am with you though on my greatest desire being that my boys love the Lord and follow HIM
It is the only thing that really matters
Love ya

Sarah Markley said...

ohhh, i don't want to send my kids off to camp, ever. i know i will - they are still too little.

i pray my girls grow up to honor Him. I pray, and pray, and pray.

Darlene R. said...

Okay, so what you're saying is that not only do I have to make sure that I am keeping God first in ALL things, I also have to make sure my kids are learning to do the same?

Oh Fran, I know that is the case! What an awesome responsibility we have been given!

Teri~Facedown said...

I have some rejoicing to oldest boy (turning 13 in Oct.) has really been apathetic toward church and youth group. Well, the past few weeks he has been asked by a friend to go to youth group at their church. (A church in the neighborhood...I know the youth workers.) He didn't say much about it last week but this weekend he asked if he could go back. Last night he came home very excited about the meeting. He told me that he wants to go back every week and also return to his other friends youth group on Tuesday nights.
This is such an answer to prayer! He is a good kid, just quiet about what God is doing in his is awesome to see him branching out and making choices toward good things!


Pouring LIFE into our children is vital. Their generation needs Jesus so badly. I am with you friend!

jennyhope said...

#1 I love you!!
#2 Thank you for sending the money for my friend...your reward is in heaven!!
#3 I really felt left out as a child and wasn't in the popular crowd. I look back and see how God set the lonely in my heart and how He could only fill the immense longings of my soul. Anyway, I look back to and see how He was protecting me and truly ordaining my steps. So many of the people that I thought oh if I could only have been friends with would not have been good influences on me. You know what I am saying. long story short i do the same thing w morgan

Toknowhim said...

So funny you wrote about this today, I was listening to a CD and the pastor on the tape said something about what he wanted for his children, and it was just something that you never hear. It kind of goes with what you were saying. I am going to do a post on this later...

Love ya girl!!1

Susan said...

I am a "what if, worrying" mom, too.

ocean mommy said...

I love this verse too. Right now, I think I want my girls to realize in the deepest part of their heart, that God loves them. That He is crazy about them and has good plans for them.

I can so relate to the worry! That is me too. :)

Love you!

Dana said...

All those "What ifs" that you spoke about? They will happen at one point or another. (I have seen that in my own kids life!) BUT Jesus hurt like we hurt and He is faithful! When these things happen, my prayer is that my kids run to Jesus, the healer and lover of their souls. And we as Moms need to run there as well when we see these "What if's" happen! I learn as much if not more during these times as well.


rachel said...

Thank you so much for your sweet comment over in Siestaville. We are in Southaven. Are you in Memphis?
I can't wait for Beth to come to our neck of the woods!

Praise and Coffee said...

It's hard to let them go. Thankfully God lets us do it in bits and pieces. I have always tried to remember that I'm training them to go. Not to stay and need me. They have to be prepared to go.

I guess I needed to think about it because my mom didn't really want me to ever go and it crippled me in some ways. She still talks about me moving back closer (we are only 30 minutes away).

God is so good to help us along the way!

Profbaugh said...


I'd love to give you a big DOSE of coaching from my spiritual life coach. She doesn't let me get away with any "what ifs." Yup, she' knock you up the side of the head (not really) but she does make a good point. The fact is, we can never know. We simply have to trust God and stop trying to be God. (ouch!!) Yes, I just recently got that line from her and it hurt (because it's true).

Anyway, for my children, I simply want them to be satisfied--fully satisfied with Christ. Nothing more, nothing less.

From a former "what if-er,"

Lindsee said...

You are a wonderful momma, who I know is raising wonderful boys! And all those "what if's" might just happen, but that's when they start growing up for themselves, and start begining to see who God has truly made them. I don't wish for my kids to be "different" in a way that no one likes the, or makes fun of them, but I want them to be different in that people see Christ in them and know that something is different about them. That they want Jesus for themselves, because of my kid. This probably makes no sense because of my scattered brain at the moment, but know that you are doing a wonderful job of raising your boys in the Truth! :)

Love you, Fran!


2nd Cup of Coffee said...

These are very mature, wise thoughts for a mom to have already grasped. You're a prodigy! I can relate to your fears, though, because not only have I been through it three times, but I work in the office where I take all the money and registrations for overnight youth retreats. So every year, there are a few moms of 6th graders who express some anxiety about the first overnight retreat, and I suspect even more feel it than express it! You are right about not saving your dreams for them until they are older, and I wonder if I dropped the ball on that sometimes, since my kids are older now. You are a good mom.

Alana said...

Such a great verse and such a great post. I am a worrier Mommy, too! You are in good company.

I blog so you can get a glimpse into my life as wife, mom of 3 boys, and someone who simply wants to bless others along the way. Have fun and be sweet :)

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