Sunday, October 17, 2010

Insecurity, a 5K, and some pride




These are just a few pix of my first 5k on Saturday. Let me tell you what I learned about this race. I was PETRIFIED PEOPLE!!! Why was I so scared? Let me tell you. I quickly became 12 years old again.

1. I felt so inadequate. This started Friday night with what do I eat the night before? What do I wear tomorrow morning? It's going to be cold at 9am. What if I finish last? What if I trip and fall? Blah blah blah.

2. I felt like I wouldn't fit into the "runner's world." And boy did I have a ball looking at all the pro's out there that morning who are clearly into the running world. I clearly was trying to act as if I was one of them. HI-LARIOUS! Boy, let's play that part real quick.

3. Every insecurity and ounce of pride I own surfaced that day. Now that my friends isn't pretty. I started off scared to death and thinking I would die before mile 1 was finished to thinking "WOW...look at me. Look how good I did. Look everyone...I finished the race!!!!" People, this was a 5k and not a half or whole marathon for crying out loud. I swelled up pretty fast. Woe is me.

While waiting on the race to start, I really felt like I was in middle school all over again trying to find my way.

During the race the pride began to creep in because I was hanging with my running buddy, Kristi, through 2 whole miles. And then the "stitch that killed" arrived and about did me in. But I will finish strong people. I WILL. I HAVE TO. MY LIFE IS AT STAKE. (whatever)

After the race, I was quite proud of myself. I loved all the compliments and all the praises and the "way to go's!" I actually thought maybe I could be a runner. Maybe. I had to be a little puffed up.

And, then guess what? I arrive to church on Sunday and listen to a truly awesome sermon on humility. Yep. Thanks God. I hear ya loud and clear. ;)

I'm learning to do this life with humility because after all....when I stop and think about that "race" I did on Saturday....I realize that life is just like that 5k. Life is full of insecurity and a whole lotta pride and I need to learn how to deal with both.

I'm thankful for this lesson on Saturday.

I'm thankful I ran that 5k.

I'm thankful I went to church on Sunday.

I'm thankful for the One Who shows me how to run the race He has set before me.

Isaiah 40:31 "but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."

Lets run the race with Him. Lets run it in such a way that people will want to follow us!! Because after all, they are seeing Jesus in us and not some insecure or puffed up chick who has the whole world fooled.

It's all for Him.

Hugs and blessings~

5 comments:

2nd cup Linda said...

LOVED this post! Thanks for sharing and congrats! I have felt all those emotions, too. I read a quote earlier tonight that said the thing that separates joggers from runners is an entry form. Also one said, "We are all cowards at the starting line."

Fran said...

Well, that's just a really good quote Linda and the honest truth! :)

Dori said...

Fran,

So proud of you -- for the race and for this post. You are precious and such an encouragement to so many!

You're simply one of my favorite people!!! Have a great week, Fran.

Love,
Dori

ocean mommy said...

Oh boy do I get this! The whole insecurity thing gets me each and every time we run at the park. All the "real" runners with their perfect form and ability to blow past me without sounding winded.

Then I'm reminded that I'm right where I need to be in my training. It's a tough pill to swallow because "I" want to look the part, and BE the runner I see them being instead of being content where God has me right now.

Thanks girl!
Hugs
s.

Immeasurably More Mama said...

Yay for running a 5K and learning a really great lesson to share along the way!

I blog so you can get a glimpse into my life as wife, mom of 3 boys, and someone who simply wants to bless others along the way. Have fun and be sweet :)

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