So some things happened

I published the post on my parenting revelation, that is found below, and was ready to share some other cool things happening within our home and then BAM Joanne had her stroke. The morning was 1-11-11. If you are friends with me on facebook or follow me on twitter then you know that Joanne has consumed my every thought and request for prayer. I still can't believe what that sweet woman has endured, what her husband has endured, what her precious girls have endured. It just tears our hearts to pieces doesn't it?

Our friend, Holly, put up a post on her blog and I cannot get it out of my mind. These were Holly's words on what kind of friend Joanne is. If you are like me, I tried to find myself in these sentences. I was unsuccessful for the most part. Joanne is teaching me SO MUCH about life. See what you think. Are you in there?

This is the kind of friend who sends flowers, when she's praying for me.

This is the kind of friend, who invites me over for lunch and then gives ME a gift basket.

This is the kind of friend, who shares deep truths she is learning from God's Word.

This is the kind of friend, who tarries with me in conversation, never making me feel like I am TOO MUCH or NOT ENOUGH. She accepts me, as I am.

This is the kind of friend, who thinks I am special and lets me know in 100 ways.

This is the kind of friend, who loves to read as much as I do! She also loves Jesus, her family, home and Bible study--and makes me want to be fully committed and growing better in all of that.

This is the kind of friend, who prays with me.

This is the kind of friend, who rooms with me---even though I sometimes snore.

This is the kind of friend, who teaches me new thing, like knitting.

This is the kind of friend, who will take time away from her very busy schedule homeschooling, being a student in seminary, wife, mother and a host of other things and spend it with me--without a hurry or care. Just unrushed time, as friends.

This is the kind of friend, who will spend the day with me at a French flea market.

This is the kind of friend, who will take her mother's knitted project that didn't quite turn out, take it apart and restitch it--giving it as a gift to her mom this past Christmas. I told her, she is just like Jesus-making all things new. How beautiful.

Isn't this just beautiful?? I read these with no conviction whatsoever because I know Joanne's heart. I read this with more of a challenge. I read this wanting to be more like Joanne.

Take some time and swallow these and see where Joanne is in your life.

There is so much to say about what Jo is teaching me, but for now.....I just know I want to be more like her!

And we all shout HALLELUJAH! for what He is doing in her life right now. In all of our lives!
Mercy.

I totally neglected my kids.....but it is changing.

I was one of those 2010 people who was actually ok saying goodbye to her. She was alright and all, but it was a year of "moving on and new beginnings" and we all know those seasons are somewhat difficult and you find yourself in places that you have never walked before. Soooooo.....see ya 2010! I will even throw in the "See ya wouldn't wanna be ya" to 2010.

I'm so happy to welcome 2011. (Deep breath)

Ok, one thing that was so cool over this past weekend was this.......I am hoping to live 2011 with GREAT intention when it comes to God and my family. And by great intention....I mean stretching myself past the normal laundry, shuffling kids around, grocery shopping, meal planning that I already do. I mean pushing myself to another place. I want to push myself into removing distractions and laziness when it comes to Jesus and my family.

This might be shocking to some of you, but here's the deal......I don't spend really good quality time with my kids. (shakingmyheadinshame)

I don't. I have lots of "nice" conversations with them, but no depth. Depth takes time. Depth takes being intentional with your words and questions and the direction of your conversation.

So....this is how I started tending to this matter. I humbled myself before my oldest and told him that I wanted more time with him and that I was sorry for neglecting him. He laughed. So did I. But...boy...hang on kiddo because we are about to have a blast and love each other as momma to son like never before. :)

We went to Starbucks and sat for an hour and a half. I don't take my kids to Starbucks because that is clearly an adult treat and gosh it's expensive times two. HA! However, this is all about to change. I introduced him to their hot chocolate while I thoroughly enjoyed my grande non-fat caramel brulee latte with light whip. Aaaahhh. And who cares if the fabulous drink kept me up until midnight.

We talked and talked and talked. This is what my notebook says for my oldest...and yes...I took notes.

14 year old....Here he is. I love this kid so much.


This is what we talked about in an hour and a half:

* I told him that I'm memorizing two scriptures a month. He said "that's cool." (insert grin)

* He told me he finished reading the book of Mark. HUH? How did I miss that? Wow!

* He said he wants to continue with his daily devotional book he has. Couldn't tell you what it is other than a sports theme for teenage boys. WAY TO GO SON!

* We looked through bible verses and he picked Hebrews 6:12 to carry him through school. It says this..."We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised." (I'm going to hang this in his room)

*We made specific goals in regards to grades for the next nine weeks. Each class has a goal.

*We talked about fear and what holds him back from embarking on a possibility at church.

* We then laughed and said that we will do this on a very regular basis so we can know EXACTLY whats going on in each others world.

Y'all, do you even know how fabulous of a time this was for both of us?

I'm going to do the same thing with the other two boys and I'm praying that you will adopt something similar with your kids. It really is the best investment we can give them.

Happy 2011!

Hugs and blessings~

Where did the babies go?

How quickly our Christmas' change. The oldest is now 14. The next wild one is 13. The baby is 10. (Husband rolls eyes when I call him the baby.) Needless to say....this was our last year to "believe." KILLS ME!!!!!!!! I guess if we adopt the Polar Express theme....we will always believe.

Anyway....the hooligans got lots of neat clothes. They are apparently spoiled rotten and I am currently taking mental momma inventory of that. And yes....I'm going to read Radical starting this week. I need help. ;) These boys have everything under the sun. It's so sad that come Christmas you end up with a bunch of clothes because you have every gadget ever produced.
Shoot me.

Anyway....here they are. They really do love one another. They are as different as night and day.
Thankfully they don't know who David Platt is or ever heard of the book Radical and have no idea just how much their lives are about to change. ;)


Take a note of the "baby's" sweatshirt on the far left. I laugh every time I read it...."My game is money!" Don't you love it?

It's time to start thinking forward to 2011. This can be happy or it can be painful. I'm choosing the happy side of it all.

What in the world do we drastically attempt to do different this next year?? Just one. I'm thinking. And I don't like to think I'm going to do more than one drastic thing because I won't. It's kind of like reading the bible in a year thing. I'll fail.

Hmmmm.....what is my "one?"

Love y'all. Hope all is well in your wintry neck of the woods!

Greatest lesson learned at Deeper Still that DID NOT come from Beth, Kay, or Priscilla

Oh, goodness. I hope you can hear my heart and feel what I'm about to describe when I have to leave out all sorts of names and manner of detail.

Sounds exciting, huh? Hang on....let's ride this out and keep our fingers crossed.

We all know what happens when you put a group of women together. There can be intense giddiness, excitement, fun, and a whole lotta anticipation. There can also be a great deal of fear, insecurity, and question of "Am I really as cute or funny as Suzy across the room?" Isn't it interesting how our minds are all over the place? Maybe it's just me. I'm highly doubting it though.

And, then the dynamics of your little group change. Maybe a new girl that noone knows walks in the room with a friend. Maybe someone starts telling a story about someone you know that rubs you the wrong way. Maybe someone tells something that you think "did she really just tell that?" Maybe, maybe, maybe....

It just happens. It just happens with a group of girls. No matter the age or demographic or status. It can happen just.like.that. Before you can even think or process or understand what is happening.....something has changed. And maybe the change involves yourself. Maybe you were the one who said or did something in that instant you are wondering, "Did I really just say that or do that?" Oh, I think I did.

It happens. And the minute it does....you just want to throw up and cry and run out screaming something completely inappropriate. It happens. And it's ugly.

But after some suffering and hurt and flat out conviction, God shows Himself through someone COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED. And her name is grace and forgiveness.

Her name is grace and forgiveness and she came clothed in the form of a person that you never saw coming. She showed me what it's like to truly understand someone and something without any kind of judgment. She showed me love when she could have easily ran the other way and made all kinds of assumptions.

I saw grace and forgiveness up close and personal this weekend and I will never ever forget it as long as I live.

I won't forget how it felt.

I won't forget how unexpected it came.

I won't forget what she looked like.

I will never forget how humbling and beautiful she was all at the same time.

I love those two words....grace and forgiveness.

I hope you extend it when someone is least expecting it because it just might be one of the greatest life lessons that person can learn.

Hugs and blessings y'all!

That girl may not like me.

Every week something happens in my daily life where I'm reminded just how insecure I am in the world of friendships and wanting to be liked. For example, here are just a few silly things that I have noticed.......again, I am stuck at age 12.

1. Someone I want to be friends with won't look at me or talk to me when we are in a group having a discussion about something. They talk to everyone else in the group BUT me.

2. Someone won't acknowledge me or give me the time that I think I deserve. Talk quickly and move it along. OR, they seem really distracted. Now, that drives me crazy!

3. No one calls and asks me to lunch. Boo hoo. Woe is me.

4. Friends don't call you as much any more.

You get the idea right? It begins to hurt a little. It begins to take a toll and make you question "whats up?" Is it me? Am I that busy?

In my defense I can say that I'm a wife, mom to 3 busy boys, and I work so that takes up all but 99% of my day. I KNOW. I GET IT. The time just isn't there.

But, deep down inside, we all desperately long to be loved, liked, and to fit in. And even sometimes the people you want to like you, love you, and fit in with them.....well, it just isn't going to happen.

I'm really, really trying to be ok with all of this.

I really want to be secure in who I am.

I'll be 41 in February and I'm wondering if we ever grow up and stop being 12? Sometimes I am just not going to be liked by that one person who for whatever obnoxious reason, I want to be liked by. Sometimes I just need to realize that not everyone wants to be friends with me.

Wow. A middle school lesson I'm still learning......

Not everyone wants to be friends with me and I'm ok with that. *gulp*

Insecurity, a 5K, and some pride

These are just a few pix of my first 5k on Saturday. Let me tell you what I learned about this race. I was PETRIFIED PEOPLE!!! Why was I so scared? Let me tell you. I quickly became 12 years old again.

1. I felt so inadequate. This started Friday night with what do I eat the night before? What do I wear tomorrow morning? It's going to be cold at 9am. What if I finish last? What if I trip and fall? Blah blah blah.

2. I felt like I wouldn't fit into the "runner's world." And boy did I have a ball looking at all the pro's out there that morning who are clearly into the running world. I clearly was trying to act as if I was one of them. HI-LARIOUS! Boy, let's play that part real quick.

3. Every insecurity and ounce of pride I own surfaced that day. Now that my friends isn't pretty. I started off scared to death and thinking I would die before mile 1 was finished to thinking "WOW...look at me. Look how good I did. Look everyone...I finished the race!!!!" People, this was a 5k and not a half or whole marathon for crying out loud. I swelled up pretty fast. Woe is me.

While waiting on the race to start, I really felt like I was in middle school all over again trying to find my way.

During the race the pride began to creep in because I was hanging with my running buddy, Kristi, through 2 whole miles. And then the "stitch that killed" arrived and about did me in. But I will finish strong people. I WILL. I HAVE TO. MY LIFE IS AT STAKE. (whatever)

After the race, I was quite proud of myself. I loved all the compliments and all the praises and the "way to go's!" I actually thought maybe I could be a runner. Maybe. I had to be a little puffed up.

And, then guess what? I arrive to church on Sunday and listen to a truly awesome sermon on humility. Yep. Thanks God. I hear ya loud and clear. ;)

I'm learning to do this life with humility because after all....when I stop and think about that "race" I did on Saturday....I realize that life is just like that 5k. Life is full of insecurity and a whole lotta pride and I need to learn how to deal with both.

I'm thankful for this lesson on Saturday.

I'm thankful I ran that 5k.

I'm thankful I went to church on Sunday.

I'm thankful for the One Who shows me how to run the race He has set before me.

Isaiah 40:31 "but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."

Lets run the race with Him. Lets run it in such a way that people will want to follow us!! Because after all, they are seeing Jesus in us and not some insecure or puffed up chick who has the whole world fooled.

It's all for Him.

Hugs and blessings~

My peeps in Nashville!

Last Sunday we skipped church....WHICH ABSOLUTELY KILLS ME.....and headed over to Nashvegas to catch the beloved Titans game. It was a fabulously cool day and felt just like football weather. Here are a few of the pix from the day.

Here we are before we split up as a family. Hubs and oldest had seats on the 5 yard line, 3 rows up. NOT FAIR. Me and the other two had seats on the....not 5 yard line 3 rows up.


If you look closely you can see the super stud himself who didn't play a single minute....
TIM TEBOW!!!!! He is 315 right beside the coach in the khaki pants. He is to the right of him.


This guy totally cracked me up!!! He jumped up no less than 623 times to yell something at someone. He was clean and sober and fine, but totally loving the game and thinking he could be heard. Great entertainment!



How about an upclose picture of a kid drinking hot chocolate. You may thank the 9 year old for this.


This is me and the funniest kid on the planet. He is the infamous 9 year old who thinks he is it on a stick. I love him to pieces. He did have a sweatshirt on. That is why you see the belt that is driving me crazy. ;)


Oh, and here is too cool for school nearly 13 year old. You can see him fighting the smile if you look closely.


And then here is the oldest. He is precious and ever so kind and will be a pastor one day. Maybe. I hope. Or a coach. Or on ESPN.


Crazy kid.


"I can't take it any more mom!"


My fabulous family of 5. I love these guys so much!

Hope y'all are well. Tell me how you are. I really do care.
Hugs and blessings~